Ref: abreaction2
This is a breathtaking example of psychiatric logic. The line "total lack of insight " is repeated again contradicting the first paragraph of abreaction1. The diagnosis of hebrephrenic schizophrenia (hebrephrenic means vegetative) means I am being written off as a functioning member of mankind.
What is left unelaborated on here is the variety and nature of this spiritual dirt that varied from types of architecture and makes of car (a fleet of Austin Cambridge cars used as taxis in Brighton in the late sixties were a source of terror for me) to numeracy and arithmetic systems (like dozens which are not intrinsic in nature but used by the bourgeoisie) and even acoustic effects ( the passing sound from certain makes of car for example would cause me great distress). It was that implosion that R D Laing called "ontological insecurity". I simply could not absorb the middle class values enshrined in these things that dictated so much of our culture. I articulated in dirt form what I could not then articulate intellectually ,,,but now can.
The issue of our society being based on values that I could not come to terms with is behind the "aforementioned shop" and "resentment towards father (? for change in family circumstances)" mentioned in abreaction1. In 1962, when I was eleven, Dad insanely left his job with the airline industry and purchased a grocers shop,,, and soon went bust. The experience was quite horrifying to my young mind. He subsequently got another art job with the Home Office that he kept until his retirement but the impact of the shop was what scuppered me. It wasn't so much the shock of financial ruin but that my Dad had deserted to the enemy; the dreaded bourgeoisie. I was so close to him as a child and his world of art and engineering and the myriads of other exciting things that he delved in that it was as if he had done a Jekyll & Hyde transformation. Thus, some years later, I would not follow him into a grocers shop as it was an "unholy place".
And what does all this "hebrephrenic schizophrenia" etc'. etc. boil down to? In fact I was just having one awful adolescence that psychiatry made a damn sight worse. In fact it could easily have killed me.
